Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
