Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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