Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
