I am in a vortex of obligation.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He shit in the fireplace
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
