was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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