Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
