You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
