My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
