very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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