I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
