She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
