Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
