Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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