My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize