I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
