Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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