i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
