Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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