I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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