i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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