turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Randomize
