I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
