Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
