Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
