My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
