Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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