Whod you bang
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
