I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
