Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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