I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Randomize
