i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
