I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
