no. you can't hotbox the world.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
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We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
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Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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