I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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