first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
