You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
