Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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