have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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