i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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