I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
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when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
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How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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