1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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