My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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