So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
