Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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