I should be sponsored by Trojan
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
