just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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