The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
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it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
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Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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