I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
