just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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