Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
time to smoke my breakfast
We got so high we made milksteak
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
