He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
