OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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