So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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