Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
