why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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