well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I will pee on everything he values.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
