I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i need to put some appletini on your dick
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
