So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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