Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
