3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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