We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
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