great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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