My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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