Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
