I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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