I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
