why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
