i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
