hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Randomize
