We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
But break dance skills will only take you so far
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
