she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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