I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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